Navigating the World of Sex Work: A Guide

Episode 1: part I

Cracking the Codes & Consent101

July 2, 2025

Entering the world of sex work is a bit like stepping into a secret club, where everyone speaks an intriguing language all their own!

Reflecting on my initial steps into the world of sex work, I was fortunate to have a close friend who had been a provider for some time. They mentored me and helped me understand the nuances, including this "secret language" often seen in ads or client inquiries.

As a respected provider myself, MY Hot Tips are:

1. Learn the Lingo: Whether you're entering sex work as a provider or a client, it's beneficial to become familiar with commonly used slang and abbreviations. This knowledge helps ensure smooth communication and avoids misunderstandings. (To access my printable PDF Sex Work Lingo Cheat Sheet, click here.)

2. Don't Hesitate to Ask: If you encounter terms you don't understand, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. If someone responds rudely or belittles you for asking, consider this a red flag. It’s best to choose to work with someone who respects you and your questions.

3. Clarify Expectations: Never assume a shared understanding of abbreviations. Confirm details to avoid misunderstandings. For example, asking, "Do you mean AR for me or for you?" or clarifying, "I offer oral to completion, but only with a condom," ensures everyone is on the same page before agreeing to services.

Now, let's talk about consent: Consent 101

·      Consent is essential.

·      Consent in sex work requires open and honest communication and establishing boundaries and expectations before beginning the session.

· Clarifying what services are being offered and what the limits and boundaries are for both the provider and the client sets up healthy boundaries. It helps avoid confusion during the session, especially when emotions are running high.

·      Use clear and affirmative language to express consent

·      Consent should be ongoing.  This goes for both parties. Check in with each other during the session to ensure enthusiastic consent remains ongoing. I always ask my clients if they are ok with what I am doing, or if they are ok with me touching intimate areas before I proceed.  I also appreciate my clients who ask me about any potential touching before we engage in it, so that we can discuss it beforehand.

·      Just because someone consented to one thing does not mean they consented to other things.

·      Crossing a person’s boundaries and boundary pushing is breaking consent.

·      Consent is non-negotiable.

·      Consent can be withdrawn at ANY time.

·      Just because a client has paid for a service, it does not permit them to do whatever they want to/with the provider, nor does it mean they have control over the provider’s body and choices.

·      If the provider (or client) feels unsafe, uncomfortable, or otherwise, they are allowed to withdraw consent at any time.

·      While verbal consent is essential, non-verbal cues also play a significant role. In this people-pleasing society, where we are brought up not to upset others or fear offending someone, a person may be hesitant to speak up if they are feeling uncomfortable or have second thoughts or doubts. If someone’s body cues/body language are giving a “vibe”, check in with them verbally.

• “Maybe” does not = consent.

• Silence does not = consent.

• Pressuring or bullying someone into saying yes does not = consent

• Mutual Enthusiasm: Consent is not just a "yes" or "no" but a shared excitement to explore together. When both partners are equally enthusiastic, it enhances the intimacy and joy of the experience. 😊

• Empowerment through Choice: Recognize that consent is about empowering each other to make choices that feel right. Each partner should feel free to express their desires and boundaries without judgment.

Thanks for reading.

xo

Luna Archer